Unhealthy Relationships & Domestic Violence

What is a Healthy Relationship?

A healthy relationship involves two people who share:

  • Mutual respect
  • Trust
  • Honesty
  • Support
  • Fairness/Equality
  • Separate Identities
  • Good communication

How to maintain a healthy relationship?

  • Be aware of what you both want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship
  • Inform each other of what you’re personal needs are
  • Know that some needs are met outside of the relationship
  • Willingness to negotiate and in some cases learn how to compromise
  • Have compassion towards one another
  • Be supportive each other’s problems

How both people should be treated?

  • Both people should put forward the same amount of happiness towards the other.
  • Both should feel comfortable and have no fear when expressing their selves
  • Equal amounts of:
    •  Encouragement
    • Interest in the others activities and hobbies
    • Respect for each other’s privacy

 Characteristics of a good partner?

  • Mature
  • Open-minded
  • Honest
  • Respectful and Independent
  • Affectionate
  • Has a sense of humor
  • Empathetic

What is an Unhealthy Relationship?

  • When someone puts the other person before them, thus neglecting themselves
  • When someone feels pressured into changing who they are for the other person
  • When someone feels pressure to quit things they enjoy
  • Lack of privacy
  • Yelling or physical violence
  • Experience lack of honesty and equality

Why don’t people demand better?

  • In many cases people are so used to being mistreated that they can’t really tell when they’re in an unhealthy relationship
  • Afraid of consequences due to confrontation
  • Fear of not finding someone better
  • Fear of things getting worse

What is the root of the problem?

  • In most cases people have grown up with the mentality that violence or horrid behavior from their partner is okay
  • Sometimes people just don’t know if or not their relationship is healthy or not because they don’t know the difference 
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Relationships are nice but…

  • You should be able to take care of yourself and stand up for yourself as an individual
  • Maintain relationships with friends and family
  • Feel secure and comfortable with yourself

What is Domestic Violence?

  • Domestic Violence: is when one partner is an intimate relationship abuses the other
    • Physical Abuse: is characterized by aggressive tendencies, such as beatings, throwing, shoving, and slapping
    • Emotional Abuse: constantly bringing the other person down, verbal insults threats, social isolation
    • Psychological Abuse: using fear to intimidate the other person, and or threatening to abuse the other person
    • Sexual Abuse: forcing and or demanding sexual behavior
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How to identify Domestic Violence

  • When someone controls what you do, whom you see, and even where you go
  • Using insulting names toward the other person
  • Making the other person feel ashamed, scared, and stupid, etc.
  • Acting jealous
  • Constantly critiquing:
    • How one dresses
    • How one acts
    • Basically criticizing everything the other does
  • Monitoring the others phone
  • Consistently trracking the others location by phone calls, text messaging or tracking softwares
  • Causes the other person problems in their work or at school
  • Harassing
  • Threatening to commit suicide if the other person leaves them

How to deal with Domestic Violence

  • Understand what domestic violence is
  • Know all of the signs
  • Know the laws against domestic violence in your state, and not be afraid to seek help
  • Determine if you are experiencing domestic violence
  • Tell someone you trust such as a:
    • Friend
    • Family member
    • Professional
  • Take note, or recordings of all acts of abuse that you experience
  • Be aware of your environment at all times when you are with your partner
  • Prepare a safety plan
  • PRACTICE your safety plan and potential escape routes

Sources:

“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships.” Hall Health Center. University of Washington. Hall Health Center Health Promotion Staff, Jan. 2014. Web. 07 Dec. 2016.

 

“Common Relationship Problems.” UF|CWC Counseling and Wellness Center. Counseling and Wellness Center, 2015. Web. 7 Dec. 2016.

Schuder, Kristen. “WikiHow to Deal with Domestic Violence.” WikiHow. WikiHow, 2016. Web. 7 Dec. 2016.

“The Warning Signs of Abuse.” Domestic Violence Roundtable. Domestic Violence Roundtable, 2014. Web. 7 Dec. 2016.

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